Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
