Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
