Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize