Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
