going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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