This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
