Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
