You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
