He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
