was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
