Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
