My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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