hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
