I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
