Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
