I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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