It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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