im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize