We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
