We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
