I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
