That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just googled if crying burns calories
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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