he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
