i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
