They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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