omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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