i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
