This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
