How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
