She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
