my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
do herpes really smell.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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