sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
