If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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