I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
