is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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