Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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