ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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