Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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