So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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