Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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