Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
