are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
