is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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