Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
