South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
