trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
