Dual....:-)
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
