we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
