Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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