Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
