your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
