"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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