i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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