There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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