And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
