No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
