There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
