The maid of honor just puked.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Let's get the cat blown out
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize