what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
