Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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