There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize