If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
